Hi y’all. Long time, no talk. I haven’t been posting on here, but I’m saying hey and writing a post for ya 🙂 This topic has been on my mind lately so I thought I’d share my thoughts.
Your worth is not determined by how appealing or how not appealing you are to others.
If we live our lives just to please others, we’re living a life of outside appraisal. That outside appraisal isn’t always guaranteed, so what are we left with? Self doubt, self loathing, uncertainty, little to no sense of self, etc. That doesn’t sound too fun, am I right?
I’ve seen multiple posts, tweets, ads, and various other platforms that almost see the dependency on others or outside approval as a “goal.” That we should aim to please others and only when they approve of us, that means we are worth something. And this comes in multiple forms. Seeking approval from men, women, mentors, bosses, friends, family, social media, strangers, etc. Now don’t think I’m saying that we all seek approval from these sources. I’m just saying that a lot of us do, although I wish that we didn’t.
I’m no stranger to this. I often worry about what others think, seek their approval, and look for validation. And like I said before, unfortunately most of us do. We spend so much time acting, dressing, eating, talking, and being a certain way to appeal to others or to receive their affection and approval. All that time we spend doing so, we lose parts of ourselves. Those parts that makes us well… us.
Let’s say you posted a picture on your Instagram. Pretty standard right? I feel ya. But do you remember all the steps you took before posting that picture? Maybe you took over 100 pictures just to get the “right” one. Maybe you spent hours editing it. Maybe you scheduled a specific time to post it. Maybe you posted it, deleted it immediately after, edited it some more, and then posted it again. Wowza, that’s a lot. I’ve been there, and I bet most of you have too. Let us ask ourselves why we go through all of that just to post a picture? Is it because we’re unsure of ourselves and how others will react to it? Is it because we’re perfectionists that have to have things a certain way? Are we seeking approval and appeality of others? There’s soooo many reasons as to why we might do this. What if we just posted the picture as is? What if we set aside other people’s opinions and just posted it because we like it? Would the world end? Would a bunch of creatures come and eat us? Eh, most likely (and I mean really) not.
So what about when it comes to the phrase, “But everyone else is doing it.” Okay that’s great and all, but do you want to do it? Do you genuinely want to jump off that bridge, or did Rebecca post it on her Instagram and get a sh*t ton of likes? Why do we care so much about what others are doing? It’s all well and good when we genuinely care about what our friends, family, and the people we look up to are doing, but letting it affect our lives? No thank you. I am no stranger to this!! Please do not feel or think that I’m attacking you. I’m writing this for your benefit and for my own.
It really breaks my heart that we waste so much time worrying about what others think and seeking their approval. We waste soooo much time. That time could be spent doing things that we truly like and enjoy. All that time we spend editing our photos, trying to erase it of any “imperfections” and “flaws,” we could spend it loving ourselves instead.
Living a life of authenticity. Living a life using our own intuition. Living out our own values, our hopes, and our dreams. Being who we really are. How freeing does that sound? To live a life focused solely on being who you choose. To live a life where the focus is your happiness, instead of a focus on pleasing others. I think that kind of life sounds a million times better than the latter. That’s the kind of life I want to live.
How about you? Do you spend your time worrying about what others think? Do you want to make changes in regards to authenticity and people pleasing? I’d love to hear (read lol) your thoughts and experiences 🙂